O Father forgive me
unrighteous I am
for I walk by the flesh
is this part of your plan?
tell me why do I live
the way that I do?
is it fate or free will?
is it Satin or you?
who controls my whole life?
tell me who should I blame?
is it me or the world?
my pleasure is pain
where I seek happiness
only misery dwells
Lord I'm searching for Heaven
while I'm living in hell
what once made me laugh
it now makes me cry
am I dying to live?
or just living to die?
is this really your plan?
is this truly your will?
will I perish the day
when your wrath is revealed?
will you pardon me Lord?
will you send me away?
I repent of my sins
every night when I pray
can I really be sorry
yet continue to sin?
I ask for forgiveness
then I do it again
do I reap what I sew?
of sew what I reap?
sometimes I just wish
I would die in my sleep
and wake up in Heaven
then kneel at your throne
will you say "You've done well,
now son welcome home."
or "Depart from me now
for I never knew you"
Lord I am living in sin
it's sad but it's true
is it over for me?
am I destined to fail?
if I do not change
I'll be dead or in jail
I have been locked up
I've been close to death
I should be in prison
should have breathed my last breath
a long time ago
and for what it's all worth
I've wasted my time
thus far on this earth
I've used and sold drugs
never had a good job
never got my diploma
been shot at and robbed
O.D.'ed in the past
on pills and cocaine
the drugs that I've used
medicated the pain
I've had my heart broken
by girls in the past
love doesn't exist
if it does it won't last
my friends have betrayed me
I stand all alone
I feel like a child
even though I am grown
abandoned I am
addicted to wealth
if it wasn't for you
I'd be all by myself
the people I hate
are the people I love
tears fall from my eyes
as I look up above
and gaze upon Heaven
while I think of the past
nothing that's good
ever seems like it lasts
I reminisce often
I'd have peace of mind
if I could turn back
the hands of my time
the days of my youth
have past and are gone
I'm too far to turn back
and too far to go on
I feel trapped in crime
committed to sin
spiritual warfare
a battle within
internal conflicts
at war with my flesh
life is a privilege
as well as a test
or is it a game
that all of us play?
my mind seems to travel
at night when I pray
emotions stand still
my heart skips a beat
visions of death
if I die in these streets
Lord judge not my actions
examine my heart
I have good intentions
though I walk in the dark
at the end of the tunnel
I see little light
I may not be wrong
but I hope I'm not right
I feel like I'm doomed
disaster awaits
I would like to change
but it may be too late